Tired. Cold. However, not grumpy just… well, numb I suppose.
Morning all.
— 🌳 Sarah Reeson 🍀 Exposed Frailties 🌳 (@MoveablePress) January 30, 2020
Two more days to go, and then I can take a whole day off… except I will end up doing my sun salutes as has been the case all month. They’ll happen as soon as I wake up, and then the rest of the day… tempted to spend large portions of it in bed, if I’m honest. Excet, of course, I have stuff to do. It can wait until Sunday. All of it can. To do nothing on Saturday is the reward for all this.
It is great to have doubled what was the default target of £150 set by Mind for my contribution. I upped it to £250 so that I’d have to hassle people to dig into their pockets and it has worked very well. I’m still hoping some notable people might turn up and provide some help, but it hasn’t happened yet, which is actually a bit disappointing. Yeah, I said it.
Lots of people won’t have the conversations that matter right now. There’s too much else to worry about, and that’s fair. However, the benefits of taking that vital step out of your comfort zone are really very real indeed. I may be exhausted mentally, but physically this is an amazing new place that I can’t believe this time last week I was considering jacking everything in to go eat cake.
Sometimes, the unexpected is what validates your decisions: not the affirmation from family or friends, or support from an organisation. It really is that random, out of the blue compliment which isn’t either solicited or expected that puts everything into real sharp focus. I’d certainly not anticipated one of those at 8.35 this morning and when it happened… suddenly an awful lot of stuff just fell into place.
TMW you're self scanning some shopping and a random staff member comes up to you to ask how much weight you've lost because you look fabulous 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
— 🌳 Sarah Reeson 🍀 Exposed Frailties 🌳 (@MoveablePress) January 30, 2020
There are other things that now must come to pass to ensure this progress is neither minimised or lost. That does mean I’ll be in the Gym Sunday, running a 5K again. It does mean that next week we go to Tuesdays and Thursdays only with Blaze, because HIIT is not doing what it needs to do when I have no energy to push the envelope. Stamina now, I think we can all agree, is covered.
It is the right moment to find some new comfort zones to step out of.
I did not want to get out of bed this morning. Yesterday was a tough one for eating discipline, plus exercise. For the first time I can remember, there was a scrabble to find a snack before my scheduled class: I was light-headed. It would have been a struggle to do 55 minutes without it. As it transpired, by the end of the class, there was not a part of me that did not hurt.
The killer, undoubtedly, was being pushed out of comfort zones: having to pick different weights for the strength portions of the workout, being asked to run on a 10% incline (I didn’t, walking was enough to kill both hips) and to spend approximately half the time lying on my back, exercising chest and core… there’s enough of an understanding now about these graphs to grasp that 75% effort from that is a massive bonus.
This however is not an exercise post. Today is about happiness, and how it feels to be out in the fields, watching the rest of the world around you throwing their toys out of ridiculously decorated prams, arguing about petty insignificances in their lives that somehow end up being so much more important than they need to be. There’s a lot of that going on in my corner of existence too. People forget what really matters.
I thought it would get harder as age advanced to separate what’s worthwhile and isn’t… except, it is getting easier. It’s really easy to be stupid, to act on your own desires ahead of common sense and considered reason. That’s what has caused so much trouble for me over the years, allowing obsessions to overtake reality. That’s what’s happening around me now, on Social media… people who should know better, losing their grip on reality.
Having dragged myself out of bed, to do the day despite feeling like body was broadsided by a truck, all of this boils down to choice. Nobody is making me eat this cleanly except… well, me, and it would have been easy to not attend last night’s exercise class. 18 people were booked, only 12 showed. All these decisions are based on the realisation that even on shitty days when everything hurts, this path is worth walking regardless.
I find shouting into the void is a very good way of making me feel better about my own shortcomings.
Now to fix them.
— 🗿 Sarah Reeson 🌲 Festive Epithet 🗿 (@MoveablePress) November 21, 2019
Back it comes to principles and ethics, every time, that innate sense that whatever happens, more than at any point before humanity requires a moral compass that is unshakeable. It’s why attacks on free speech matter just as much as those using fake news to try and sway the unsuspecting. This isn’t just innocence or ignorance that needs to be addressed either: smart people are being stupid. We should not facilitate this.
That means, on any given day, making sure I don’t retweet the people being stupid but simply comment on them. It demands I look for voices of reason and objectivity, because from them comes the means by which we can be set free of our own restrictive and often damaging thinking. To reinvent ourselves in the modern world is an absolute requirement: it needs to take place, often on a daily basis.
True happiness does not manifest without considerable personal effort.
— 🗿 Sarah Reeson 💷 Selling My Life🗿 (@MoveablePress) October 27, 2019
Boredom will not be a problem leading up until Christmas. I need money. So, time to do what I used to do a decade ago when some extra cash was required.
Ebay account is reactivated after a nine year absence. TIME TO SELL.
— 🗿 Sarah Reeson 💷 Selling My Life🗿 (@MoveablePress) October 28, 2019
My husband’s pleased with my reorganisation skills, now to extend that to the rest of the house.
— 🗿 Sarah Reeson 💷 Selling My Life🗿 (@MoveablePress) October 28, 2019
There’s a coda to this too: I’ve got bloods back from the Doctor after my illness. I have three months to lower my cholesterol, up my red blood cell count and deal with an iron deficiency in my own way. If I can do all that without medical intervention, so much the better. It does mean cake becomes a rarity, and Christmas might be a bit thin on indulgence.
The consequences of not doing it however are fairly stark.
Normally I’d write this blog early, preferably before starting work on the week’s project. Except, today that direction took precedent, then there had to be some PT (more of which at the weekend) and I’ve only just recovered sufficiently from that to be here and ready to write. Needless to say, it’s been a BIG DAY.
This is today's poetry image undoctored, found on my walk yesterday to the gym. Remember kids, look around you. pic.twitter.com/ALAssAu4jZ
— 🗿 Sarah Reeson 🏙 Accidental Artist🗿 (@MoveablePress) October 21, 2019
It’s my birthday this week: no, there is no celebration scheduled. I’ll go to the Gym in the morning, probably work on some writing stuff, maybe treat myself to a birthday cupcake. There needs to be pictures taken, and some made into blog headers. I can afford to go buy a couple of pairs of new glasses from the discount store down the road. All of this is a world and a bit away from how I felt this time last year.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this positive ever for a birthday week before. Normally summat is bothering me, or there’s a moment of panic the World is getting away from me. This year, none of that: I am truly in the moment. Problems are dealt with as they happen. There’s less worry over everything than has ever existed up until this point. Truly, this is the land of new and unexplored possibilities.
It’s a fucking great time to be alive.
When I grow up I wanna be able to dance like this. I’d love to be a freerunner. All these things that (quite obviously) will not come to pass can at least be entertained in my head, whereas before there’d be just anger that time wasn’t being properly used and that everything was awful, and it was all my fault. I don’t want to go back to that past, the places that existed before. I know where the true joy lies for me now.
It’s great not to be on places like Facebook any more. The people who used to be part of my life are gone, truly history there is absolutely no desire to ever revisit. I’m not interested in my ancestors, or school reunions, or having those moments when others go ‘oh yeah, do you remember that time when…’ because I don’t. My life now is the last decade from time to time, yesterday maybe but pretty much now.
— 🗿 Sarah's Poems 📝 Less Grief Associates 🗿 (@AlternativeChat) February 14, 2019
Being honest can be a dangerous move in the modern world. Most people are so tired and jaded that a compliment is largely pointless. The only time that changes is when you’re able to hit someone so far out of your follower reach that they really aren’t expecting anything positive at all. Yesterday, I managed that twice, and two people I hugely respect and enjoy following got a moment when they felt brilliant about themselves. It will have been brief, but was worth the effort.
One line is all it takes. Four words, in this case, is worth more than a KoFi contribution. There are those, fortunately for me, who have been showing their care with cash, and each one will continue to be acknowledged publicly and with enthusiasm when it happens, but the fact remains most of you aren’t poetry fans. I know the short story fans on a first name basis as a result, am looking for non-fiction pathways to draw more people in. The fact remains, Social media is words and pictures, and I can do both with increasing confidence.
Now I need to get people to show me they care.
This is a tough ask for the person who gets cross when people mansplain at her when she knows they’re just trying to help. It’s difficult when it’s annoying that someone just favourites all you work and never retweets it. You can’t make people into a support network, it has to be their choice. Just randomly following people coz they ask you to is not really the answer either. So, here’s the deal. I really need people prepared to listen and respond. I’m looking for interaction, NOT followers.
More people need to want to respond, and that’s what the aim is going forward.
So, my first poetry gig will have travel expenses paid for, which is an unexpected and quite useful bonus.
— 🗿 Sarah's Poems 📝 Less Grief Associates 🗿 (@AlternativeChat) February 13, 2019
Yes, I need to make money. Yes, you can donate to me if you feel the urge, the details are to your left at the top of the page. More importantly however what matters more is feedback and communication, and it is time to learn how those things work again.
Nothing is ever going to get better if I don’t do the legwork.
DAY 5: We interrupt our scheduled wibbling for the first of a series of planned observations of reality. This Saturday? It is time to remind you all about the concept of TRANSMEDIA and how, in the space of a week, that concept has utterly altered the entire course of entertainment.
Bandersnatch is a work of undoubted genius, created by Charlie Brooker who remains right in the front carriage of the Sci-Fi Alternate FuturesARE STILL COOL EVEN IF THEY’RE FUCKING SCARYHype Train. However, let’s be clear, other people have been doing this shit for years: ‘choice’ in fiction has existed in video games, books, even films for quite some time, well before this Netflix original came along. Working across platforms isn’t new either…
So, why is everybody so excited? In the simplest terms, Brooker’s the first person to shove on a particular set of wheels and throw engine into the chassis that’s been crying out to be redesigned since it became apparent what computer code can do if you tell a story with it. Here is the fuel of pretty much every Sci-Fi future: one screen provides all.The thing that presents both news and offers entertainment also grants possibility to alter and shape reality as you see fit. Given the building blocks of a story, each individual gets to decide both victor and reward, with thousands of possible variant versions.
Television ascends again as the ultimate serotonin delivery device.
The bigger irony right now, of course, is that if you try and access Bandersnatch through the smartest of smart TV’s, you’re met with a compilation of Black Mirror protagonists from series past apologising that ‘sorry, you can’t watch this episode on this device.’ If you want true interactivity, go watch TV on a Tablet, phone, PC, Laptop or Games console instead. The one TV ‘drama’ that will redefine storytelling going forward cannot be viewed on a dumb, flat screen.
Gil Scott-Heron was a visionary, and non net-savvy TV companies might have a bit of a problem going forward. Well, not a problem per se, but organisations such as Sky will be looking long and hard at their set-top boxes, realising that catch-up TV is great and all that but they are yet again behind the curve. The day Netflix launch their fully interactive rival in collaboration with Disney and UEFA all bets are off as to what you’ll want linked up to the ‘TV’.
The future is no longer sending signals to a screen and expecting that to be enough.
Suddenly, TV has the opportunity to combine everything in the one place you want it. No more PC’s in the corner of a room: run it from the widescreen HD central screen, transfer it to a tablet before taking it everywhere. One core processor unit oversees and dictates every form of interactivity in your house. That same Home Entertainment Unit is Alexa’s search facilities and Siri’s voice combined with choose your own drama shows, themostatic controls plus lighting dimmer switches, with the kids homework and your favourite FPS, all voice activated.
Esports will vie for prominence with real sports, but not watching teams of young people competing via controllers. Live sports provide an unexpected new industry : all computer sports games will sign deals with broadcasters to provide means by which players can allow their favourite team to win both Cup and League. Interspersing historical footage with computer generated graphics so real, you’ll never notice the difference and suddenly, choose your own outcome versions of every sporting event in history becomes possible.
There will be a backlash, of course: Traditionalists will shun all new style visual media and return to VHS, Laserdiscs and DVD’s as the only version of entertainment that matters. Books will become their own unique currency, with people hand-producing their own versions of great historical novels with unique, personal twists. Then, there are those who’ll have original TV signals directed directly into their optic nerves, eventually choosing to spend the rest of their existence
only as brains in jars…
…
As a writer, it’s fun to consider the consequences of things such as Bandersnatch in a wider context. Undoubtedly, the effect of social media on news and entertainment is beginning to alter how the collective consciousness absorbs information. With such new possibilities on the horizon, conventional TV will have to undergo some fairly significant changes in order to embrace such technologies, but if there’s enough demand, it will happen.
Old style TV units and broadcasting mediums are on notice. Aerials on houses will become a thing of the past. Everything is heading towards a future where ‘smart’ and ‘interactive’ beat everything: whether that’s through a fibre connection or via satellite is yet to be decided. The next year also gives Netflix, Amazon and the digitally native platforms a massive advantage over traditional TV. If I were Disney, for instance, I’d DEFINITELY be looking at launching my own dedicated streaming service to take advantage…
Expect a Disney ‘make your own TV show’ very soon indeed, and once they start it, we’re all doomed.
My earworm for the day is this trailer music. Cheers, Disney.
Right then, where were we?
#Blogmas is planned. I have 31 Haiku to write, and 25 Christmas GIF to source. Nothing left now but to get on with it, which is what the next four days are about. Also, I need to enter Azeroth for 31 pictures of snowy places. I’d rather be playing Colonization right now, not gonna lie, I have a half finished game from last night that is nagging me for completion. All this stuff as distraction is not good.
However, this is undoubtedly the most productive I’ve been since August.
