Let Me Go

I made a pretty rookie mistake last Friday: lifting without gloves has bruised some bones in my right hand. It also caused a minor niggle in my right shoulder during lockdown to become a major source of discomfort right through my arm, to said bruised bones, the result of which was three days of absolutely no sleep resulting in a significant drop of higher brain function.

The difference last night’s sleep made, plus a lie in, is like the difference between processed cheese and artisanal Stilton. Both are made from milk, but that’s where the similarity ends. Being back in actual ability again is glorious, and helped me fix a problem that I’d been working on for over a week to solve. Next up, after scheduled stuffs, we will set the website to rights.

Then I think it might be time for a second breakfast.

Today, as I am awake, it is time to finally fix the website back-end, to get started on some video editing and to finally work out what the hell I want to be doing in September, because yesterday booking my follow-up Physio appointment I realised two weeks from yesterday is the start of the month. The Patreon stuff is all sorted, of course, but privately there’s nothing really on the horizon, and maybe that’s the way it should work.

Perhaps, next month, it’s time to concentrate on getting as mentally capable as I am physically, and that will take a bit of planning in itself. For now, it’s lovely to not be stressing too much about anything in particular. That seems like a good idea to work on. However, there are things that need to be inserted into planning and, as a result, I need to start thinking.

At least that’s easier than it was yesterday.

Life in Tokyo

Sometimes, shit just *happens*

No real thought, no hours of painful brain-wracking. You just wake up, boil a kettle and as you stare at a tablet, words happen. I suspect it is the equivalent of a sketch from an artist which perfectly encapsulates the fluidity of both motion and moment and sadly, they do not often happen enough. No matter. This is a decent one, good enough to stick in my notebook, for this is what this blog is.

Up very early today. I even set a 7am alarm. That’s not happened since late March. Stuff has been scheduled, and I have a level of organization in play that’s good even for me. Without it, stuff will not get finished this week and there is a LOT that needs doing. I’ll detail everything properly on the work blog but, for now, I’m strapping on a heart rate monitor and heading for the Gym.

This week is going to count.

Funny Girl

I had pudding last night, for the first time in probably a couple of months. Occasionally, over the Lockdown, I’ve sneaked a mini Bread and Butter Pudding in between meals. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy that experience…


I also spent most of yesterday doing the exact opposite of what I’d originally planned for Friday. I wrote a poem which, once it’s sat and gathered dust for a bit, will be one of the three I submit for the National Poetry Contest I will Never Win [*] and That’s Okay. Normally when I do these it is in the white-hot anger of having not won the previous year. Not this time.

This time, it is something else I am angry about. I doubt this will make one iota of difference to progression, but what it does make for is a poem with real bite, distinct from its predecessors and, amazingly, with distinct style too. All in all, it adds up to a comfortable new high water mark for the journey. It will make editing poetry this morning a lot easier.

I give this Poem

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Saturday’s Agenda

If all this gets done today, I can have Sunday off, and that’s all that really matters to me right now…

Sarah, speaking earlier

I’m sorry, I’m having WAY too much fun with all this faffing about: at some point, undoubtedly, we’ll end up going back to boring five line paragraphs, but the temptation to play with all of this for comedy porpoises remains quite strong. In all seriousness however, there are se7en things on my To Do List.

Six are pretty heavy duty, and if I can get traction on them all, and at least four completely finished, I’ll take today as a towering triumph. One is probably impossible today, because it depends on someone else. However, if I can buckle down and get all this sorted, it gives me the free time I need next week to write poetry collections, and right now that matters quite a bit.

Maybe I could ask WordPress to work out a Strava embed for this new system…


[*] Not with that attitude you won’t…

Here’s the Thing

Undeniable Truth #286

(in a long series of ‘Things that Frustrate Me about Publishing’)

I absolutely HATE learning that I’ve not been shortlisted for The Thing, or indeed I’ve not made it past the first stage by getting the email that tells me who has won The Thing. When I am in charge, there will be communication at every stage of the process. I will attempt to provide coherent feedback. Mostly, it will all be far better organised.

Seriously, how hard can it be?

In other news, I played with the WordPress features yesterday and yes, this will be useful, once I can get my head around the process. Blogging every day will help with this, of course. We learn by doing, not complaining it got too hard. Therefore, there will be a great deal of doing and very little of the other stuff, because nobody has time for that.

I wanna use three images here as an example of what it is now possible to achieve going forward with the website: what you can’t see is that this allows me to make my pretty simplistic layout into something hugely sophisticated and smart. It will also fix an issue I have on various webpages that have previously needed to rely on grids for their construction.

It doesn’t look like much, but the consequences of this really are significant.

This Feature is Great

I promise I will learn to use it responsibly.

There will be an actual post tomorrow as well, not just me faffing about.

Dollar Days

Today, this seems strangely appropriate.

If anybody wants me, I’ll be trying to spawn the perfect Civilization: Beyond Earth map and trying not to think about anything else except a victory.

Sweet Disposition

Yesterday was… the word I want to use is transformative.Β Things took place that previously would have resulted in far more emotional, negative outcomes. This time around, however, the right answers were very easy to ascertain. Often in domestic situations the truth can get lost in petty niggles or undisclosed unhappiness. Not yesterday. All paths were clear, directions easily signposted.

Old Me [TM] might have considered this some kind of bizarre divine intervention. I’m aware that Mercury is in retrograde right now, which means all of this stuff would normally be fraught with danger…except, for me, even the Universe itself does now not get to stop me doing what needs to be done. All of yesterday’s conversations, including the hour after Blaze class, were all very, VERY stress free.

They were also, and unexpectedly, massively useful for me.

meintheclub

This is a journey into unexplored territory. The weekend away was much needed, but ended up as a far from perfect experience. The poetry that’s resulted from it is, let’s be honest, a bit of a revelation. I’ve got some stuff to organise going forward as a result, plus current scheduled stuffΒ  has become a bit backed up. It was far more important yesterday to get the personal issues dealt with above everything else.

Also, there’s the European Washing Mountain over there, bags still to be unpacked (next job on the To Do list) and a ton of other things that were never really dealt with before we went away. However, in a change to our normal lifestyle situation, a lot of those really aren’t as stressful as they were before, so in that regard a couple of days away has indeed had the required effect.

Maybe all of this really is changing for the better.

thatsbait

No, seriously, the path to enlightenment does appear a bit easier to ascertain this morning. A lie in helps, sure, but just being able to get up and get started quickly and efficiently means the world. Being able to focus, all this planning and exercise, is hugely helpful. However, at the heart of it all is a new, and reassuring, belief that I am treading a new path that remains worthwhile.

Okay, less talking now and more working.

These Foolish Things

Won’t mention it here again, because thirty days of telling people you’re exercising when they’re quite happy not to is quite likely to result in losing friends. This morning is noted here for two reasons alone: I turned up, at the Gym, and had to awkwardly stand in reception until they officially opened at 10am. That’s a first. It’s also hugely satisfying when your instructor tells you she thinks you were the only person actually pushing themselves in their class.

That’s a massive compliment.

It’s two weeks before my scheduled Cholesterol and Anaemia blood tests. If I eat REALLY well and am not a complete idiot, both of those are more than likely to come back normal. If they don’t? I’ll cope.Β A month ago, that might not have been the case. A lot has changed since the start of October, mind. The biggest single problem however will not be falling off the sweet wagon. However, not a single mince pie or Christmas Pudding has passed my lips this year. NOT ONE.

strawberrycake2

Lots to sort this evening, then it is back to rough approximation of normality tomorrow. School runs recommence on the 6th, and I’ll be making the most of every lie-in until then.

Lots of stuff will slowly begin to alter starting tomorrow.

The Only Way is Up

I’m early. There are several reasons, most include not being able to get back to sleep despite today not being a ‘work’ day. Everybody else is asleep. They are sensible and clearly not doomed as I am to spend every waking hour imagining story ideas. They’re being dreamt again too, in a fashion that would make cracking TV. No, that’s not the plan for 2020, but it does mean pulling out some old work and looking again at it, critically.

School doesn’t restart for another week. Remind me to lie in tomorrow.

skateboarding.gif

Next year, I will write here every day. Some of it will be deeply personal. There will be reviews of shit I’ve watched, listened to or read. All the mental health stuff will shift over to the writing blog, and so that everything is not a continuous stream of exercise news (because that could so be all that happened here) there’ll be a new graphic and that will be confined to the weekends only, so you can choose to ignore it.

The only exception to this is RED January which, because it’s all wrapped up with Mind fundraising, will shift over there too.Β The ‘do some exercise every day’ plan has reached Day Fifteen already, despite there not being any scheduled classes until the 2nd. PT will happen shortly, as it did last week, and that’s been a helpful permanence in the sea of bad food choices and late nights.

I’m back on strict rations ahead of blood tests on the 14th.

There will now be a moment to mourn the passing of a mug that made it back through the hold of an aeroplane, but did not survive my wobbly early morning grip. It has memories, of course, but remains just another thing and is the reminder in 2020 that memories do not require physical prompts to maintain. It’s all part of life’s huge, rich tapestry, and it’s time to move on.

Let’s go.

Everybody Come On

FRIDAY, YOU SAY???

There is no fear at this point that I won’t want to go back to words once the weekend is done. Everything is working really well, typing out that sentence will not and cannot jinx the whole thing. There’s even a weekend off exercise, because it’s been a while since that happened too. The next three days effectively, is Christmas organisation. Once completed, I just gotta wrap gifts and throw them at recipients.

HOORAY FOR BEING ORGANISED.

The Gym very kindly allowed my youngest in to take some pictures of me for a media project. If I were a different person, a lot of them would have never seen the light of day, including this one.Β Instead this is the one being used for her project. It’s a good reminder that being fit does not mean being thin. STRONG is what matters more, and it’s time to reiterate that fact in my own brain.

That and other things will be suitably addressed this weekend.

Rain is Falling

FINALLY, a decent night’s sleep.

sleep270719

I’d like to spend less time awake, but you can’t have everything ^^

What this week has taught me is that if I want to finally shift the tummy fat, I should be running on an incline. There’s a long way to go in terms of mental toughness, and some harsh questions still need to be asked around my body image. I’ve also admitted that eating well is a far better way of dealing with trauma than binge or fast, which is the lazy way of admitting there’s a problem.

I’m back on shakes for breakfast, which reminds me, I need to order more Huel.

prdfudg

I would walk to the gym but it’s raining, and the forecast says this is the plan all day. Normally that would annoy the hell out of me but after the last couple of days it can rain all it wants and that’s absolutely fine. In fact, it’s a perfect day to drive first to exercise and then to shop. After that, we’ll organise what exactly gets done this weekend and hopefully knock off some more novel…

Oh and at some point, I’ll have a proper conversation about exactly how dieting and weight loss has sculpted a portion of my last decade…