Forget Myself

DAY 1: Let’s start the clock again. I had an Orange Club yesterday but, in my defence, there was a VERY good reason.

I wish the Blood people did a daytime session at the local church. Doing it during the day’s been a lot less difficult to cope with. Maybe it is because you’re fuelling over a longer period and not shifting straight into eight hours of kip. Perhaps this is just easier as body gets fitter. I will have to do some push ups tomorrow and schedule a bike ride after New Year’s Day nosh at my parents. It’ll be four days since anything was lifted, and that will never do.

As 2019 begins, I’d like to remind you why we’re here:

The epiphanies just keep on coming, and they’re all being written down, so that blog posts may spring forth from them. Remarkable progress has been made in the last 48 hours and although it is not exactly where I wanted to be, we are damn close. Give it a good push tomorrow, and there’s clear air for writing, and starting my cookery aspirations. I haven’t told you about that yet…Β Why else do you think the Instagram account was reactivated?

View this post on Instagram

This is a GOOD SAMMICH

A post shared by Sarah Reeson/Internet of Words (@internetofwords) on

WELL DUH.

Happy New Year. <3

Flirting with Disaster

DAY 1:Β Whose bright idea was it to start a diet the week BEFORE Christmas?

notevenmad

The reasoning behind this is surprisingly sound: having digested the biometric scale data, it is clear what needs to happen. So, we begin by asking the question: how does this happen, and how do I manage to resist temptation? Well, that’s easy. You eat better, and just resist temptation.

Starting tomorrow, I have a shake for lunch for three weeks [*] because even the Guide says you shouldn’t go full on without body being allowed a chance to react and get comfortable. Then, we’ll see where we are. Next scheduled weigh in is Friday, January 4th, three weeks after the last one. Then we’ll go weekly, and shit gets real.

[*] No, not Christmas Day or probably Boxing Day either…

The Name Remains the Same

This week’s already a bit odd, thanks to the addition of a second Blaze class (more on that post tomorrow) and a change in the editing plans. There’s still #Blogmas to knock off, but that will have to happen much later today due to PT being the latest I’ve ever had it. Body right now is on the shift again, and if the temptation to snack continually can be addressed as the week goes on, the tiny reduction in weight from last week might start increasing. I have to re-plan a lot of stuff too.

This would be a lot easier were there not a constant level of uncertainty around stuff I have no control over.

If politics becomes too much of a distraction it’ll be on with Spotify and off with Social media, but for now we’re doing okay.

Honesty

You need to be reading This Third Place.Β I have ‘rebranded’ my fanzine/chapbook idea for the New Year, and it is going to have a much larger remit. Last night’s info-dump on Arguto has made me think I ought to be working in other places as well as the writing site. I have work, and there is home, but no third outlet. There ought to be a neutral ground, where reality is arrived at without the influence of anything else.

Arguto is about to become something new entirely.


endlessxmas.gif

I have, for the last few years, been all over Christmas by this time. Not in 2018, where other things like sleeping and thinking have taken preference. Tomorrow, that all changes.Β I know what I’m doing for Christmas gifts, now comes the actual obtaining them bit. This is easy, right? That’s what the Internet is for.


I’ve worked quite hard this week, even with two days off. My bike is currently undergoing repairs. So, we’ll start again tomorrow and see how far we get.

My weight is slowly creeping downwards \o/

Underneath it All

header12

You cannot choose the people you inspire, or that will like you and most crucially of all, however hard you try, some people will never be your friends. I’ve learnt this lesson the hard way over the years: there’ll always be someone who you think you’d like to get to know better and then something will happen to ensure that never comes to pass. The last situation in which this transpired came back to haunt me at the weekend, a mutual tweeting someone who I reached out to but… on reflection, it wouldn’t have worked. They wouldn’t have been the problem, either. I would have ruined it.

The people that have helped chart the course over the last few years have been getting thank you’s this month (as I mentioned back at the start of November) and with the last four this week comes to pass an event that has made a lot of sense in the wider scope of what I’d like to happen going forward. You can give blanket thanks to people on Social media all day and night, knowing that many users simply read what they need or want into situations regardless of your desirers. Naming names is the way people understand how much they matter to you, pure and simple.

magicdove.gif

Sometimes, people get disappointed. They put a lot more emphasis on you than is the case the other way. When I do a cursory account check of new people to follow, it is always with half an eye on who else they consider interesting. It means if you’re reading this and your Twitter friends list is full of female ‘online personalities’ and porn robots, I’m fairly confident we won’t have a lot in common. I’m pushing more and more for those people who understand that participation isn’t just complaining online about how unfair life is, those willing and prepared to give back more than they take out. Thinking needs to be the default these days, however tough that might be on a daily basis. That means not only considering what you say, but more crucially what you don’t.

think_patrons.png

Having survived the early stage of Patreon, it is time to start raising the bar. Persuading people to give you money (especially in this day and age) is a tough ask. I have big plans starting this week, and need to get more people on board, who are prepared to take a chance on me and what I believe in. We don’t need to be friends for this to happen, either. However, that might happen, or it might not… a lot of it isn’t up to me to begin with. Life isn’t a predictable set of occurrences. If we get lucky, then so be it.

Sometimes, just inspiring people to be better is enough.

Royals

header92.png

There’s an inspirational image out there somewhere if I could be bothered to look for it, that would state somethingΒ like the following: Don’t worry about the haters. Just be you.Β That’s what I’m doing right now. Just being me.

Amazingly, this shit appears to work.

There is a fuck of a lot of stabilising going on, I should add at this point. I may look elegant and swan-like on the surface, but if you stare beneath the waterline? ALL THE PADDLING.Β However, I am quietly beginning to grasp that the less I worry, the more stuff coalesces. Finding new things to talk about has certainly helped, and keeping a focus on my novel is really beginning to bear fruit.

laughter

Also, taking the piss out of myself is becoming increasingly less stressful. Yes, you cannot take any of this too seriously. I’ve seen what happens when you do that, and we’re not turning the bus back that way anytime soon. Therefore, genuine laughter has happened at several points this week. I’m still struggling a bit with decent sleep, but the trend is undoubtedly upwards, and yesterday evening’s message most definitely helped, even if I’m a little sore this morning. The bits all end up as part of my whole.Β I’d forgotten that: not just the sleep, or the training, or the banter or the words. ALL OF IT TOGETHER.

dancing.gif

Strap in, lovelies. Shit’s beginning to get REALLY interesting.

Design for Life

header79.png

Yesterday, I went out with husband and daughter for my first meal post-operation. I played it safe: nothing overly fatty, healthy choice, and only a single beer, and woke up at 5am with a hunger I can’t recall for quite some time. Yesterday’s PT was all that was hoped for too: weights were utilised, exercises suggested that put no pressure on my healing umbilical hernia, and once my daughter’s packed off for a sleepover with a friend, I’ll go and do 5 miles on the Octane. When I do that tomorrow it will be with press ups, TRX rows and single arm rows as accompaniment. This is maintenance mode for two weeks, so that the hernia gets a full month to heal. Then, we’ll go back to where we were.

I’ve put on half a kilo at weigh in time, which could be as much about the Gym clothes I was wearing or the fact I didn’t use the loo before I stood on the monitor. What matters below the weight, as I have discovered in the last few months, are the important details such as the percentage of my body that is fat, and how exercise translates to general body health. In that regard, owning the body of a 40 year old is something to be pleased about, and having lost 4% body fat thanks to the operation? Yeah, let’s take that as a win. The trick now, of course, is to make sure it stays that way. Doing the work has never been a problem. My PT yesterday made the point that she wasn’t surprised I was back in and exercising less than a fortnight after the operation, that was ‘just the way you are.’

You bet I’m going to take that as a compliment.

Poppies Wave

We also went as a family to see the installation of poppies that has been adapted from the original art at the Tower of London. Hopefully I’ve done the magic with the URL from my Flickr account to link that here so you can take a look. It’s on land that the MoD sold to developers about a decade ago, and the original Barracks were converted into housing. Needless to say, it was a lovely evening and very moving when, at 7pm, a lone bugler came and played the Last Post by the wave of poppies.

Without further ado, let us get on with the day.