Today, my husband is 50. For my celebration last year he took us to Paris because that’s a place of considerable significance for us both. This year, he’s on the way to Italy, on the first part of a journey that I suspect may be just as life-changing for him as writing and exercise have been for me. With little or no grasp of the language, he’s been able to get a number of pretty rare old bikes purchased from private sellers and is now off to collect them.
After that, he’ll be restoring them all, and doing what he loves best: recycling old things to be like new. He did this before our son was born with keyboards and synthesisers, and I suspect that the bikes will be another part of his love affair with bringing vintage into the modern world. I’m slightly nervous about the whole thing, but that’s part and parcel of how I am because he’s not just my husband but my best mate too, and I’d be concerned over anybody doing the journey alone. However, this is his rite of passage, in a sense, into the second half of his life.
I couldn’t possibly begrudge him this opportunity at all.
This means I have five days to be the grown up in the house. I won’t exercise today because I want to make sure I’m capable of getting both kids to school tomorrow even if I am below par. There’s a ton of house stuff to do to so I’ll spend some time later getting lists sorted for everything so I can tick off achievements as I go. For now, it’ll be some food, walking to the shops for next week’s provisions, and then trying to get everybody organised for Monday morning. It is only when he’s not here that I realise how much I miss, depend and often rely on my husband to help life move on smoothly.
I do love him so very much and hope this first day of Birthday is as life-changing as mine was last year.
This week, as you will know if paying attention, is the first in which I’ve started doing the writing gig ‘properly’ and by that I mean I’ve shifted my focus towards stuff that is a wee bit more adult. As a result, I went and bought a larger, more flexible monthly planner, and instead of using pencil (which has been my go to medium for a couple of years) I’ve forced myself into writing with a pen: the Uni-Ball Gel Impact (1mm) as it happens, because I’m beginning to grasp there’s a whole cottage industry around people writing stuff on pages and then taking pictures whilst not typing at all. Therefore, today is Day Two of Planning Like a Grown-Up.
Going from pencil to pen is, I realise now, a signal of intent. I can’t rub out mistakes, so everything stays visible. Old ideas don’t vanish but remain to inspire further thought going forwards. There’s the need to stick to plans to allow other things to come to pass. It is a step up from weeks of planning and organising that was focused in one direction, and now I have shifted that to what matters most to me, brain has become considerably lighter. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact gaming is still part of the landscape, but now it is accepted that isn’t where things need to travel long term.
The new direction is far larger and more interesting.
This does also mean that Drama has the potential to be far more significant, but I think several years in the cesspit of the Internet before Normal People discovered how horrible and unpleasant it is, will be good endurance training going forward. This has been several years in the planning and making, but I only had the confidence last week to push myself past the step where it was all thought and no direction. Now that balance is readjusted, there is only one way, and that’s forward. Whatever happens now, I’m just going to go for it.
I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?