I was appropriated yesterday, and am still working my brain around the coup. I wondered if that was the right word to describe the action, on reflection, but if we start with the kids’ dictionary today:
My disappointment, because that’s what it is, lies around other people wanting to make sure their own arses are covered. I understand how all this stuff works: politics is easy to see at distance than it ever is close up. How it is now dealt with is less clear, but I’m reasonably confident the Universe will already be organising suitable redemption.
Hang on, is this you trusting to fate? Kids, we all know that fate and destiny are constructs, just like lots of other environmental factors have nothing to do with the reality people find themselves within. In the midst of chaos, everybody’s looking for an angle, a spiel… a grift. The Grift is very strong right now, for lots of people.
A lot of manipulation occurs online (and with intellectual property) that really shouldn’t happen at all: the Internet’s always been a pretty fertile ground for cons. Some people’s long games are incredibly successful, after all. If all that matters is saving face with someone else, how far will you go to bury someone else to save yourself…? I know how far some already do.
Today’s blog post therefore is understanding I’m playing a different, more ethical long game. Never grifting, zero appropriation. I leave that to other people, and understanding the landscape in which I find myself is quite important. Therefore, today is all about just doing what matters first for myself, and putting everything else to one side.
Life comes at you fast. Reacting quickly is a skill I need to practice.
Rejection email arrived at 2.30 pm yesterday, exactly as it was promised, which is undoubtedly an improvement on a large number of previous submissions I’ve made. There’s stuff in my Submittable account from two years ago that organisations have failed to even answer or remove. It’s an exercise in torture that is made worse by the realisation you’re not quite there enough to be relevant or noticeable.
On the plus side, I can cycle through the stages of grief quite effectively:
- Shock and denial (I don’t believe it, it’s happened again, how many times etc)
- Guilt, added pain (did I polish enough, were my answers not smart or memorable)
- The anger ‘dialogue’ (this isn’t fair, I deserved that, why won’t someone notice me)
- Depression (fuck this I’m going running/weightlifting/walking)
- Realisation (this is how life works, stop judging yourself by others’ benchmarks)
- Reconstruction (tomorrow, we work harder and will LEARN FROM THIS)
- Hope/acceptance (what a brilliant sunrise, gonna be a good day to progress)
all happen in increasingly shorter amounts each time one of these submissions that matters takes place… which let’s face facts is EVERY SINGLE ONE.
If I didn’t feel everything, this would be a lot easier.
Today therefore we are exploring other avenues in terms of exposure and interest. They may come off, they may not. The key is to not close yourself off to alternatives and at least walk down every avenue once that potentially opens to you. You’ll know which ones are right over time anyway, it’s part of the ‘trust your gut’ portion of this exercise. It also helps having a good working knowledge of the environment you find yourself in.
In this respect I’m ahead of the game. Sure, being live and immediate really helps, but it is also about the business of building a presence and reinforcing that over time. Most people scrabble to do this after they hit the target and get recognition: I’m already here. All this stuff is created and is slowly being added to, a useful resource and testament to how slow and steady holds its own benefit.
There are two more submissions today, they’ll be my best work again. Whether I’m successful or not is out of my hands. That’s someone else’s decision to make and ultimately mine to accept: with each one a part of me is lost. It is replaced with an acceptance that this is the path I choose willingly to tread, and as such all that can be done is to hope that eventually, one day, we hit a target first time.