Making Plans for Nigel

House is stocked for at least two weeks. Car’s got a full tank of petrol. I have cardio all covered, it will be body weight strength training that will need some thought. It’s time to get really good at press-ups, to find a way to lift body weight in other ways. Remind me to ask Father Christmas this year for a TRX Home Kit, because this would be a fantastic idea…

Whatever may now transpire, there’s a contingency. I think in such situations you are only able to do as much as is possible within your own sense of comfort: having had to plan, for years, every single possible outcome when going out with kids plus myself with anxiety issues, it is quite simple to just shift the focus a bit. Medicines won’t go off instantly, buying stuff that will always get used is not difficult.

I’m waiting for an update on my daughter’s planned art trip, which may (or not) go ahead this weekend. Considering none of the places they were supposed to visit are now open, having  them spend a couple of days restricted to their Hotel would be a disappointment in the first place, and not necessarily a good idea. I assume I won’t hear anything until lunchtime, if at all.

Waiting is the part of this that never gets any easier.

gym_time

I need to get on with fixing my website, and building the Patreon. Sitting here, worrying about the state of the World does not help anybody in the long run. Plus, there’s washing to sort and tidying up to be done. Keeping busy, ultimately, is what saves me mentally, because as soon as your pre-organised coping strategies and distraction activities fall down? So do you.

Keep working, and we’ll all get through this together.

Ready Steady Go

Such high hopes for the start of the week, but there I was, throwing up at 1.30 am. The culprit has been identified: my digestive system can be a bit of a pain some days, when you take a gallbladder out of the equation. It’s also stymied PT for the first time in at least a year, but no matter. My trainer’s effectively absent until April now on scheduled leave, and I have to look after myself. There’s a plan.

I’m sure we’ve had a discussion before about the statement ‘not everybody will like you’ and, over the last week, this has become  more apparent. A lot of this will inevitably have to do with the fact that I’m about to start asking people for money, which is always a great way of finding out who your true friends are. It’s not just that, however: I’m aware that, having become more vocal in places where I was previously not, reactions are different. Not everybody welcomes you with open arms.

One of the people I spoke to last week was, on reflection, very much just being polite, one assumes on the back of potential usefulness. No, you won’t always hit it off, but in certain dynamics it’s quite easy to grasp why friendly isn’t enthusiastic. Previously I’d normally overcompensate, but this time it was reasonably easy to grasp motivation, or indeed the complete lack of it. You accept, shrug your shoulders and move on.

The internet’s become quite a good tool for teaching that lesson over time.

myturn

It’s also where your attempts to try and help people out can be met with anything from silence to a block, depending on what you suggest. It’s amazing how many people consider that anything goes on their feeds, posting stream of consciousness real-time diatribes without thinking through the consequences. What you think is important, remember, may not make any sense to anyone else. Tweet carefully.

That’s undoubtedly the best advice: I tend to respond once to someone, and then wait to see if they’re listening. A reply, hours after the fact normally means what was world ending six hours ago has now resolved in clarity. No response at all and yeah, you’re not on the first responders list. Not a good mutual, simply someone with a need to vent. It does take a while to work out, but over time your landscape is consistent.

Don’t overthink it, not worth your time.

teagetmesome

Attempting to give everybody a fair platform undoubtedly has its disadvantages. However, deciding when to mute or block does become a lot easier over time. Plus, there are those people in my feed for whom I’m happy to listen to the rant, and sympathise with their placement. We all have bad days, after all. How you present that to others is a measure of your ability to be honest with yourself.

Everybody, from time to time, has a shit day.