Listen To What The Man Said

Yesterday, I took a misstep. It’s done now, no going back on it. The trick, of course, is not to pick at that spot and make it worse, but simply to leave things as they are for a while. You can always tell when you’ve really fucked up on the Internet, of course. I can remember being convinced once that someone whom I really wanted to meet because they lived reasonably local, moved house to avoid me.

If they’d really hated me I’d have been blocked and ignored. Instead, in time, I ended up with the realisation that their interests and mine would never have actually meshed at all. Perhaps I try too hard at internet friendships, I dunno. When you just wanna be nice to everybody and some people only want the sound of their own voices, or to live in a particular decade or mindset…

It’s tough doing this grown-up stuff, innit.


Talking of which, I need to update the Just Giving page with my daily workouts. Tonight, I think, will be Zwift, which ought to factor in more daily than it does. Some interesting things are happening with the app, including running tracks, which I ought to investigate with my watch. Can I use the Garmin to virtually run? There’s a Google search for when I’ve sorted myself out.

However, the most exciting thing by far to be happening today is the man coming to replace our washing machine. Then, the most important thing I have to do is to register that with the manufacturer for an extended warranty because when it goes wrong (and it will) I do not want to discover that doofus brain here didn’t do that with the last one meaning it would cost more to get the damn thing fixed than it cost.

Like I said, grown-up stuff is hard.

I’ve Got The Power

Settle down, class. The subject today is power. I hope you came suitably prepared.


I’ve been trying for several months to change something that, if I’m honest, cannot be altered. Fighting lost causes has been a thing for many years, mostly because there’s this will within to just keep pushing, in the hope that maybe eventually the tide can be turned. Is this a Canute and the Ocean situation? Yes, quite possibly, but until there’s been this one last push… and it has to happen… 

An appointment has been booked for 11.30am next Wednesday. There’ll be some work done, at the weekend, to firm up what it is I want to say. Then, I have to hope that the person who promised to be here on that date does indeed turn up, or I’ll be forced to go and start a formal Dispute procedure… and nobody wants that. It’s not like there’s much that can be used to to persuade these people to even listen to me anyway.

In this case, a Social media rant is not the answer.


Power’s a tricky thing to grasp. Forget for a moment about dynamics and players, there’s the bigger issue of overstating your own importance in situations where on any given day you’re simply part of an enormous, largely irrelevant whole. Having spent several years labouring under a misapprehended belief I had the ability to change something that would never, ever have taken place? I still haven’t learnt the lesson

Even if all this effort comes to nothing, I have to try. This is not about making headlines as ‘the woman who took on X and won’ and never will be. This remains the need to ensure I am true to my own ethical code. If something is important enough to stand up and say in one place, that should be the same for anywhere else, regardless of the consequences of doing so. If I don’t try, I’ll never know.


All you can ever do is your best, as I keep telling my son and daughter. If it isn’t enough for other people, that’s their problem to deal with and not yours.

I have a plan. Let’s see how things go.