Firestarter

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Yesterday, I had BIG plans for the day. However, the opportunity arose for an extra session of PT, I had some unexpected cash in my hand and so I went and bought an hour of additional work. Once upon a time that would have been spent on virtual, in-game items, or maybe a new pair of shoes. Yesterday, it brought me a new PB for weightlifting and confidence in body that came as a surprise. I felt different, walking out of the Gym and home: maybe a wee bit taller, but within there was a strength I’ve only experienced a few times in the past.

This was the right path to tread.

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Yesterday evening was similarly gonna be a lot of work, which at 7pm I decided to ignore because my brain simply didn’t possess the mental capacity to cope. Instead, I played for a couple of hours, and treated myself to a dinner I’d wanted to eat for a while but didn’t feel I deserved. This was rubbish. I can eat Macaroni Cheese, bacon and peas, and not feel guilty after working as hard as I have. I can also enjoy myself for a couple of hours without getting feelings of guilt that work is simply not getting done. At just after 9pm, my body told me, in no uncertain terms, we were going to bed now or else we would fall asleep at the desk.

Looking at my Fitbit’s version of events, I understand why that call was the exact right thing to do.

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I woke up this morning, after the first red block of awake (husband coming to bed) and second red block (husband getting up) feeling frankly amazing. It is like my body just totally reset all the issues, and although there’s still tightness in lower back (because PB broken) everything else is… well, amazeballs, really. Instead of doing what I do every morning (start working on get-go) I have spent a couple of hours pottering about and enjoying myself. I did some in-game faffing, reset my mobile gaming missions, and have had a languid, stress-free breakfast.

Now, I am utterly ready to work.

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I am fairly confident I’ll have my To Do list sorted by mid-afternoon, after which I will go for a run. Then, tonight will be a combination of making Christmas gifts and mucking about online. Why am I telling you all this? Well, I grasp now that exercise is the path, at least for me, to a far better understanding of both body and mind. It has allowed me to become more relaxed with myself, better able to communicate with others and allows my mind to hear what body needs and wants with far more accuracy. Freed from the tyranny of excessive consumption and obsession, life just got easier.

Why the fuck did I not do this years ago?