I’m still not right. I’m now taking this as similar to how it works when I give blood, and I REALLY need a lie in tomorrow, so that can happen and there’ll be no stress about anything else. Once I’ve written this I’ll go run my last 10 and a bit km for the 300 since Jan 1st, and wait for the reward cake. Fortunately it’s Easter next week. I have provisioned the extra calories. Everything will be alright, and I will have comprehensively proved my ability to work to a deadline, under budget. Really, it’s all win here… except the four rejections in four days. They can fuck right off.
What has been learnt in the last twelve weeks far outweighs the benefit of the exercise, when looked at objectively. Having a medal to aim for really did help, but honestly, this is not why it happened. In the end, it was about proving that other people don’t own you. You’ll do the dance, nod to the room, but they don’t get the motivation. Assuming you are there to beat other people is a waste of everybody’s time. In the end, this is another contest against yourself.
This has been one of the most significant weeks in my professional career for quite some time.